Of bubbles a boundaries

I do find the way therapy and counselling speak to be a bit cringey and overused in places, but as boundaries is a good way to describe the ways we need to protect ourselves. I've always been very porous, but I've reached a point now where that sponge-like nature of mine is no longer useful or helpful, or good for me. But I have realised that I'm very bound-ed in some ways, or have been, particularly with my art. I've been contained and tried to fit within a small space, but there was an energy inside me, and inside my work that's been struggling to break out. Hence this drawing of being bounded by a nutshell. This tight-bounded-ness in terms of trying to limit how much 'me' there is in the world contrasts with my boundaries, which are pretty expansive. That seems to be the wrong way around.

But then as soon as I decide that's the best way forward I start worrying that I shouldn't really be taking up infinite space, nor should my boundaries be as tight-fitting as a nutshell. And isn't being boundaried just the same as being in a bubble, and is it healthy to live in a bubble? Such do the endlessly grinding cogs in my brain work. As withi everything balance is the key. I can't hermetically seal myself off from the world, but when it gets too much and starts impacting my mental functioning, then a temporary bubble (not reading the news, going on social media) isn't a bad thing. I do need to expand the space I take up, metaphorically (to explain, in certain situations my default is to try to be invisible) but to take up more than my fair share would be to butt up against other people's space. And lastly, to boundaries. My tolerance window, isn't so much a window as a gaping hole in the side of the house complete with rent brickwork and curtains open to the elements. These need to be contracted, while my right to my voice and be heard. To be, needs expanding. Easier said than done, but an awareness of the problem is always the best place to start.

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